A man went to different priests (Jesuit, Franciscan and Dominican), because he wanted a Tesla for Christmas, so he asked them: Can I do a novena for a Tesla car? The responded: “What is a Tesla?” He went to a Diocesan priest and ask: “Can I do a novena for a Tesla?” And the priest responded: “What is a Novena?”   

Missing Baby Jesus

A story is told about a priest who stood before the Nativity scene that was setup at the entrance of the Church. He noticed that all the figurines were there, except for the Baby Jesus. The Baby Jesus was missing. So he looked around for the missing Baby Jesus, and couldn't find it, but across the way, he saw a child with a red wagon. Inside the Red Wagon, was the baby Jesus. He ask the child: “Where did you get Baby Jesus?” The child confessed: “Father, I got it from the Church.” The priest said: “Why did you do that?” The child responded: “I told Jesus that if he got me a red wagon for Christmas, I will give him a ride around the block.”

Pies

A friend once shared of his love for pies. Preparing for his vacation, he did some researched on the internet. He discovered that a slice of pie in Jamaica is about $2.50. And a slice of pie in the Bahamas is about $2.00. He said: “Those are the PIE-RATES of the Caribbean.”  

dirty laundry

There was a story told about a couple who ate breakfast every morning. While they ate breakfast in their dining room, the husband looked out the window and noticed their neighbor was hanging their laundry to dry. But he noticed that it was very dirty. He said to his wife: “Their laundry doesn't look very clean. They don't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps, they need better laundry detergent.” The wife remained silent. This happened every day for about a month. A month later, they had breakfast again, and looked outside to their neighbor's yard, and he noticed that this time was different. The clothes looked nice and clean. So he said his wife: “Look, they finally learned how to wash correctly. The clothes are nice and clean. I wonder who showed them how to wash their clothes.” The wife replied: “I got up early this morning, and cleaned our windows.”  

Golf

A story is told about four priests who were golfing one day (a Franciscan, a Dominican, a Jesuit, and a Parish Priest), but the group in front of them was painfully slow.  So they complained to the Golf Marshal.  He told them: Dear Fathers, I'm so sorry, but the group in front of you are blind.  

The priests felt ashamed.  The Franciscan replied: "Even though they are blind, but they are able to be outdoors, enjoying God's creation."

The Dominican priest replied: "Even though they are blind, but Christ is their light, helping them to overcome this big obstacle."

The Jesuit priest replied: "Even though they are blind, but it's wonderful that they see themselves as God's children, with self worth, and value."

The Parish priest said: "If they're blind, why don't they play at nighttime..."