Jacob Wrestles With God

Gn 32:23-33

Although this is a physical wrestling match, but we can see Jacob's wrestling match with God as a metaphor for our own wrestling matches with God. Most of us wrestle with people around us: our parents, our siblings, our boss, our spouses, our children, our co-workers, sometimes with other parishioners. Some people really annoy us. Some people are the thorns in our flesh. Some people's behavior, we find diffuclt to tolerate. We are familiar with what it's like to wrestle with others. But at a certain point, we have to come face-to-face with Almighty God. We will come to a point where we wrestle with God through our struggle with understanding why we are created, what is the purpose of our life, why certain things happen to us and why it doesn't.

Some of us may never wrestle with God because we don't see God as an opponent. We don't see God as the enemy. God is like a good friend. God is a loving Father. God is someone who we could trust. So there's no reason to wrestle with God. God is on our side. But the wrestling with God is not with our true selves, but the self that is a bit dark. The self that is different than the one God wants of us. The self that is not of God. The self that is has its own agenda rather than God's agenda. The self that is out for its own gain. If our true self is not is on the same wavelength of God, we will wrestle with God. If we are on the same wavelenght, there's no reason to struggle and wrestle with God. 

The wrestling and struggles are not exactly a bad thing because it is meant to produce patience and endurance. It changes us just like Jacob's name is changed to Israel. We change in our perspective and outlook. After struggling, we may begin to see things in a different light. It is meant to bring us away from our superficial outlook to a more mature, deeply spiritual experience. I remember one parishioner who shared with me that he had a daughter who had a heart problem, and at one point almost died. He spent a lot of time with her at the hospital. He shared about his experience. His life is less shallow and superficial. He is grateful and appreciative of his life.

What is more difficult? Wrestling with people or wrestling with God? This is a question that we have to answer for ourselves. For me, wrestling with God is much more difficult. Because we have to be completely honest with ourselves, and being completely honest with God. And also after wrestling with God, we find it much easier to deal with our day-to-day life and the relationships with people especially the difficult ones. The capacity for endurance and patience have been expanded. It would like a marathon runner who could run 100 miles, so 10 miles is not very difficult.