The main attraction to Christianity is God's mercy and forgiveness. The Gospel has numerous accounts of forgiving stories. For example, St. Peter comes Jesus and asks: "How many times must I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Is it seven times?" The Lord responds: "Not seven times but seventy times seven times."
Furthermore, the Lord demonstrates forgiveness through a parable. A Shepherd has 100 sheep. In the event that any of them goes astray, he will risk his life and livelihood to search for the Lost Sheep.
In a recent article for December 2014 from U.S. Catholic magazine entitled The Courage to Forgive, a priest named Fr Schmidt gives four helpful steps to having the courage to forgive.
He shares that forgiveness cannot be imposed or forced on people. It should be seen as an invitation. Instead of adopting a quick and blind approach to forgiveness, he advocates for a step-by-step process.
Fr. Schmidt calls the first step towards forgiveness "uncovering the wound". It is an opportunity to examine closely the unjust injury that the particular individual or community experienced. Bypassing this necessary step, therefore, will lead to ignorance of the specific wound. A doctor cannot treat the wound if he doesn't know what it is.
The second step on the path of forgiveness is "deciding to forgive". Forgiving becomes a commitment and a goal for the individual or community. Even if it may be difficult to forgive, and often times appear impossible, but goal-setting helps to orient oneself in the right direction. For instance, "Here is where I currently am, holding a grudge or being quite angry. But where I ultimately want to be is to forgive that person. If I don't make forgiveness as a personal goal, the chances of forgiveness are very slim.
The third step of forgiveness is to develop empathy for the other person. It's about trying to walk in the other person's shoes. Fr. Schmidt says it's about trying to seek understanding. And furthermore, it's about seeing them not in a black and white manner. This step will help the individual and community to move away from revenge and retribution, and move closer towards forgiveness.
The fourth and final step is to not allow the gift of forgiveness be taken away from you. God wants you to have the gift of forgiveness. You owe it to yourself the gift of forgiveness. With the gift of forgiveness, comes peace and healing for the soul.
Interestingly, the article neglects to give a specific time frame for forgiveness. It is so that forgiveness is not to be an imposition, but an invitation. Forgiveness requires patience and time, and with God, all things are possible.
Glory be...
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