Leading by example

Christ never asked his disciples to do something that he would not do himself. “There is no greater love than the one who lays down his life for his friends.” “The Son of man is to be handed over to me and they will kill him, and three days after his death, he will rise.”

Here is a great story about leading by example. It is a story about Gandhi's grandson, Anil.

I became friends with a boy named Anil, who was my age. Anil had a weakness for sweets that verged on obsession. He consumed more than was good for him. One day he became ill, and his parents took him to the doctor. The doctor's advice was that Anil must drastically reduce the amount of sweets that he consumed. Anil's parents tried to enforce the doctor's orders...Both parents would nag Anil about not eating sweets while they themselves continued to eat sweets ever day. Several weeks went by and the parents found that Anil was continuing to eat sweets when no one was looking. They brought him to Grandfather (Mahatma Gandhi) with an appeal to drum some sense into him.

“Anil will not listen to us,” his mother told Grandfather. “The doctor said he should not eat any sweets, but he still consumes them on the sly. He refuses to obey us. Please speak to him.”

Grandfather heard the complaint patiently, and just as patiently told Anil's mother, “Come back with Anil after fifteen days.”

Anil's mother was perplexed. All she believed Grandfather had to do was tell the boy not to eat sweets. They were bad for him. Why did she have to wait for fifteen days? She could not fathom this, but she was not prepared to argue with Grandfather.

On the fifteen day, she returned. Grandfather took Anil aside and whispered into his ear. Anil's eyes sparkled. Grandfather asked him for a high five to seal their private deal and they left.

Anil's mother had no idea what had transpired, but she was skeptical. A few days later, both parents came back to Grandfather utterly amazed and asked him, “How could Anil obey you so readily, and not us? Tell us your secret.”

Grandfather explained: “It was no miracle. I asked you to come back after fifteen days because I had to first give up eating sweets before I could ask him to do so. I simply told Anil that I had not eaten sweets for fifteen days, and that I would not eat any until the doctor allowed Anil to eat sweets.”

It was a simple lesson in the power of correcting by example, but how many of us practice this? We are quick to use our authority or superior physical strength to force others to do what we want them to do, and as a result even if we are obeyed, we have not effected the kind of change that makes our lessons permanent.